You don't have to hit a child to abuse them

This was written by member of Angels That Care in answer to what I wrote. Amber AlertS set wheels in motion



I know someone that tried to put out an Amber Alert on her 12 y/o daughter when in fact the 12 y/O was at the Grandparents house after being threatened and kicked out of the house by the mother the night before. Apparently the mother (MOM) was drunk, had blacked out and "forgot" where her child was. At this point Child Services were called and the other child that was 13 was also removed from the home.

This was an acquaintance I had met first moving here.....a neighbor of my friend and our kids went to school together. I watched this woman slowly deteriorate into drugs and alcohol. When she got caught driving drunk....she lost her license. My friend would call me every day telling me things about this woman and I would get so mad and tell her to call the police or report it. I called one time and they did go investigate but the complaint was not substantiated. However, the police and DCS kept a close eye.

One day...my daughter saw the 12 y/O and her mom in the principle's office. Passing in the hallway my daughter asked out of concern what was wrong and made a statement that she hoped her mother didn't drive. This led to many harassing phone calls from the mother saying my daughter was a liar and harassing her daughter at school.... which was not true; they were friends. One evening after taking my friends daughter home after one of my sons baseball games, this woman came out of her house so drunk screaming at me. I tried to talk to her but she insisted on calling me names and doing anything to goad me into getting mad. I told her she was drunk and to go in her house and go to bed........her daughters had come over to my friends house at this time. She started screaming at the top of her lungs that I was a fat b*tch and my daughter was nothing but a "nasty nigger half-breed piece of sh*t."

Please know that ALMOST all tact and moral integrity almost went out of the window.....I felt like a lioness at that very moment wanting to protect her cub....even though, THANK GOD my daughter she was talking about wasn't there at the time to hear those horrible words. I wanted to shred that woman to pieces! I kept my cool but she ran inside her house.....her mother had driven over at that point and I was literally yelling at her to stop enabling her daughter and to protect those kids! The police were called by MOM....I was crying to the officers that this woman had in fact been harassing me....she was a danger to herself, her kids and anyone else on the road. She frequently drove drunk and I was told she smoked crack. They told me it was hear-say but that they were familiar with her and were watching her.....

After that it wasn't a week when the kids were removed. The kids are thriving at their grandparents and I see them frequently as I take them to our church. MOM has been arrested for driving w/o a license...been in jail and has failed many urine tests. She for some reason has said she doesn't claim the youngest of her daughters but has weekly visits w/the oldest daughter.

It breaks my heart because I know that these kids have seen things they should never see.......many one-night stands and strange men in the house after a long night of partying by MOM , drugs, alcohol.....they were forced to make her drinks, clean up her puke and take care of her when she was incapcitated.

You don't have to hit a child to abuse them............

Used with permission

Megan’s Law-Should Sex Offenders Be Forced To Register?

Megan’s Law-Should Sex Offenders Be Forced To Register?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megan's_Law

National Conference on Health and Domestic Violence

Pre-conference sessions: March 15, 2007
Conference: March 16 - March 17, 2007

Location:
San Francisco Marriott
San Francisco, California, USA

The 4th Biennial National Conference on Health and Domestic Violence aims to advance the health care system’s response to domestic violence. The conference attracts the nation’s leading medical, public health and family violence experts from across the U.S. With increased international participation. Workshops and plenary sessions highlight the latest research and most innovative clinical responses to domestic violence, with a focus on the work being done by physicians, physician assistants, dentists, nurses, nurse midwives, mental and behavioral health providers, social workers, domestic violence experts, and others.
http://www.endabuse.org/health/conference/



Coaching Boys into Men


What you Can Do

The boys in your life need your time and energy. Your son, grandson, nephew, younger brother. The boys you teach, coach and mentor. All need you to help them grow into healthy young men.

Boys are swamped with influences outside of the home – from friends, the neighborhood, television, the Internet, music, the movies… everything they see around them. They hear all kinds of messages about what it means to “be a man” – that they have to be tough and in control. There are numerous conflicting and some harmful messages being given to boys about what constitutes “being a man” in a relationship.

Boys need your advice on how to behave toward girls. Boys are watching how you and other men relate to women to figure out their own stance towards girls. So teach boys early, and teach them often, that there is no place for violence in a relationship.
Here's How:

Teach Early. It’s never too soon to talk to a child about violence. Let him know how you think he should express his anger and frustration – and what is out of bounds. Talk with him about what it means to be fair, share and treat others with respect.

Be there. If it comes down to one thing you can do, this is it. Just being with boys is crucial. The time doesn’t have to be spent in activities. Boys will probably not say this directly -- but they want a male presence around them, even if few words are exchanged.

Listen. Hear what he has to say. Listen to how he and his friends talk about girls. Ask him if he’s ever seen abusive behavior in his friends. Is he worried about any of his friends who are being hurt in their relationships? Are any of his friends hurting anyone else?
Tell Him How. Teach him ways to express his anger without using violence. When he gets mad, tell him he can walk it out, talk it out, or take a time out. Let him know he can always come to you if he feels like things are getting out of hand. Try to give him examples of what you might say or do in situations that could turn violent.

Bring it up. A kid will never approach you and ask for guidance on how to treat women. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need it. Try watching TV with him or listening to his music. If you see or hear things that depict violence against women, tell him what you think about it. Never hesitate to let him know you don’t approve of sports figures that demean women, or jokes, video games and song lyrics that do the same. And when it comes time for dating, be sure he knows that treating girls with respect is important.

Be a Role Model. Fathers, coaches and any man who spends time with boys or teens will have the greatest impact when they “walk the walk.” They will learn what respect means by observing how you treat other people. So make respect a permanent way of dealing with people – when you’re driving in traffic, talking with customer service reps, in restaurants with waiters, and with your family around the dinner table. He’s watching what you say and do and takes his cues from you, both good and bad. Be aware of how you express your anger. Let him know how you define a healthy relationship and always treat women and girls in a way that your son can admire.

Teach Often. Your job isn't done once you get the first talk out of the way. Help him work through problems in relationships as they arise. Let him know he can come back and talk to you again anytime. Use every opportunity to reinforce the message that violence has no place in a relationship.

Become a Founding Father. Show him how important the issue of violence against women and children is to you. Join thousands of men across the country who are taking a stand against violence. Become a Founding Father yourself. Go to founding-fathers.org to sign up. http://endabuse.org/programs/display.php3?DocID=9916&gclid=CLiW7PbB7YoCFSHVgAodAGCulQ
http://www.founding-fathers.org/

Angels That Care: Check out Slide Show! Child Seek

Angels That Care: Check out Slide Show!

http://www.childseeknetwork.com/

What to Look for in an Angel

What to Look for in an Angel

Show me an angel! cynics sneer.
She is not an angel. She can't fly.
He can't be an angel, he stumbled
just now. I want Super. I want Wonder.
Show me miracles, show me tricks.
Tell me how these so-called angels
are any different from you or from me.
Let me arm-wrestle one and we'll see!

All I can say is, here I stand,
alive and well and full of hope.
Not that angels can't be human.
Not that one can turn thunder
and lightning into whipped cream
and lavender sky. All they really do is
listen. All they really do.
is open the doors
to their hearts and souls and invite
us in. Don't let us out 'til we're ready
to fight off the blues and get cracking.
Can take baby steps back to our old selves.
Pooh on angels having to be superhuman.
Think what a human is capable of.
when he or she loves the way love
should be loved. Angels who stepped into
my life – not flew, mind – simply cared
enough to give their very best. Believe
in angels? They're not asking you to.
Point is, there are those who believe in you.
Listen not for the flutter of wings, but "Let
me hold you, let me help you. Grieve,
honey, get it out. Then tell me
what I can do to help. Work things out
together, but for now lay your head down
and rest. That's it. You'll be all right!
. . .Oh my, could that be an angel you see?
.

Phyllis Jean Green