Healing Our Spirit

Healing Our Spirit

Author: © 1999 Susan Maree Jeavons

Previously Published on: November 9, 1999 at Suite101.com

Being an incest survivor and someone with bi-polar manic depression, it seems I have my lot of problems to contend with. I will share some of the things I find helpful in healing my spirit.
For me, writing is a passionate panacea, a way to release all the pent-up emotions that would otherwise boil over inside me.

Poetry has always been my means of ventilation. I write what I feel, what I know, what I dream. I express my feelings in rhythmic stanzas with wild abandon. Sometimes I edit, sometimes I don't, but I always try to make sure the meaning is perceptible. If I have to reach for the thesaurus to decipher the meaning, I don't bother.

This Side of Lunacy

Down is black,
silent,
lonely,
an empty , aching state.

Up is red,
rushing,
rambunctious.
no time to hesitate!

Inside, a kaleidoscope
of emotions out of control,
tangled,
twisted,
torturing
the fabric of my soul...
© 1999 Susan Maree Jeavons-All Rights Reserved

I'm quite sure the meaning of that was clear. Anyone can write poetry. It does not have to be poetically correct, it only has to be a portrayal of your feelings and ideas. Give it a try, you might be amazed at how it makes you feel to put your own simmering feelings into words. Then send me a copy if you like and I'll offer some sensitive critique and praise.

Other activities that calm my spirit are listening to peaceful music, reading, or enjoying nature. I enjoy Yanni's soothing symphonies, or relaxation tapes of beautiful music mixed with nature's sounds; storms, the ocean, birds singing.

Some of my favorite "healing" books are "Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self"-by Sarah Ban Breathnach, and "Every Woman Has a Story" by Daryl Ott Underhill. Both books are filled with inspirational stories of survivors and helpful hints to our own survival.

I love nature and all it has to offer. Sometimes if I'm feeling
overwhelmed by life, I take a "sanity break". I have a special spot on our property I call my restoration station. It's under a lovely, old maple tree. There's a comfortable rocking chair and the branches surround me, hide me from the world outside. I get comfortable, close my eyes, and simply listen. I listen to birds, crickets, civilization, but most of all, I listen to my spirit. Sometimes I sit there alone and cry. I look at the heavens and I pray for serenity, purpose, understanding. Sometimes I sing my favorite hymn. Sometimes I take paper and pen and write poetry there. Whatever I choose to do, I always come away feeling more aware, more thankful that I survived.

Healing is an on-going process and a matter of trial and error to see what works and what doesn't. Having chosen to cope with my illness without medication, makes this process an even more difficult challenge, but I am learning each day, just how strong I really am.

I hope you too, can find ways to heal your spirit and continue the renewal of you. Feel free to share some of the methods you find comforting on your healing journey.
#2

Justice? I Think Not! -Strictly Commentary

Previously published at Suite101.com on July 1st , 2003

© 2003 Susan Maree Jeavons-All Rights Reserved

Society has become desensitized to child abuse. Twenty years ago, children had no one to rescue them or help him or her. Today, there are organizations to assist victims. Consequently, we hear about abuse on a regular basis, so much so that in the last ten years, I believe that many people have become immune to it. They are too busy trying to survive in a world that is pretty frightening at times. But what they forget is that countless children live in homes that are even more frightening! Homes where they are still being battered, molested, neglected, murdered and abandoned.

I've actually had people say, "I don't want to hear about it." That apathy saddens me. We sit glued to our televisions to watch the latest horrors in Iraq. We are shocked by the way children in other countries are victimized. Yet we ignore the horrors that take place right in our own back yard.In Strongsville, Ohio a 38-year-old father’s child pornography videotapes were discovered in the basement of his home by his wife. She also discovered tapes of her husband raping their infant and three-year-old daughters.

Paul Kaforey was charged with 36 counts of child sexual abuse. He could have been sentenced to life in prison for his crimes. However, Judge John O’Donnell could only sentence this man to 11 years. Everyone in the courtroom was shocked! Why? No one could give a reason for such a light sentence. The accused admitted that he was guilty of rape and gross sexual imposition and thus, was allowed to plea-bargain for a lesser sentence.

Cuyahoga County Prosecutor Bill Mason admitted that it was the worst case of child sexual abuse that he had ever seen. From the beginning, he had anticipated the accused would receive a much longer sentence.

I am disgusted with the so-called justice system! Something is drastically wrong with a system that allows this man, who admitted his despicable acts, to even be allowed to plea bargain! I am sick to death of hearing about these repulsive excuses for human beings, receiving light sentences for crimes that should be punishable by death! What happens in 10 years when this man gets out?

He will be labeled a sexual predator and is court ordered to have no contact with his family ever again, but isn’t this like shutting the barn door after the horse is out? The damage is already done. These children will more than likely, live in fear of encountering this man. They will suffer with the aftereffects of what their own father did to them.

Some of you might assume that since these children were so young when the violations took place that they would forget in time. If that were the case, it would be a blessing, but more often than not, we do not forget. Child sexual abuse leaves a tempestuous and unmerciful wake in its path. It invades our life without permission. It seeps into every aspect of who we are. It changes us. Many of us spend years, sometimes our entire lives, trying to heal the wounds of childhood sexual abuse. Others, like myself, dedicate our lives to not forgetting, by expressing our views, telling our stories and the stories of other victims and by demanding justice for innocent victims.

The prosecuting attorney speaks for the State. The defense attorney speaks for the accused. I speak for these innocent victims. 11 years for this reprehensible crime is a mockery of justice! Someone should be working to change the law that allows this inequity.

Some may tell me that being allowed to plea bargain is this man’s constitutional right. What about the child’s rights? In light of the heinous nature of this crime, shouldn’t someone demand change? Shouldn’t someone be angry enough to speak for these children? How can we call it justice, when evidence proves otherwise? Can someone tell me…?

Feel free to voice your opinion on this topic. Send me your ideas, your concerns, your possible solutions. Help me to understand how this is justice…Addendum: On April 9th, Cuyahoga County Prosecutor Bill Mason called me about the letter I sent to him concerning this case. He identified with my frustration and sympathized with me about how some of these cases turn out. He told me that the main problem with this case was lack of evidence and that in light of that, that he was glad the man received at least 11 years. He also agreed that many of these offenders offend again when they are paroled.

I thanked Mr. Mason and wished him better luck with the next case.

I admire and respect Mr. Mason, and know that he will do his best to obtain the harshest sentences that the law will allow. I only wish the laws were more equitable.

Healing Our Spirit

http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/child_abuse_and_recovery/106623


Justice? I Think Not!
http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/child_abuse_and_recovery/99624


The War At Home, America’s Wounded Children
http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/child_abuse_and_recovery/113005